"Productivity Illusion" Unisex Garment-Dyed T-shirt

You've mastered the art of looking busy while accomplishing absolutely nothing — and honestly? That takes skill. This shirt is for everyone who has turned procrastination into a lifestyle and renamed it "strategic rest."

Rocking a vintage collegiate badge design, this tee features a blissfully sleeping sloth hammocked between two trees, proudly repping the "Productivity Illusion" — because the illusion is really all anyone was ever asking for anyway. Bold varsity lettering in crimson, gold, and navy gives it the academic credibility your actual output never could.

Why customers love it:

• Perfectly captures the vibe of someone who has 47 browser tabs open and has done exactly nothing with them
• The vintage garment-dyed Comfort Colors fabric feels as relaxed as you look on any given Monday
• Collegiate badge style makes loafing look like a legitimate field of study
• The sleeping sloth is your spirit animal finally immortalized on cotton
• Sparks immediate recognition and laughter from every coworker who secretly agrees with you

Perfect for: work-from-home warriors • office gift exchanges • college students • anyone who has ever put "breathed" on their daily to-do list just to cross something off

Graduation day for professional nappers everywhere — you earned this degree.

Available in sizes S–4XL. See size chart image for detailed measurements.