"UFO's" Unisex Garment-Dyed Tee
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 18.25 | 20.25 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 27.75 | 29.75 |
| Length, in | 26.62 | 28.00 | 29.37 | 30.75 | 31.62 | 32.50 | 33.50 |
| Sleeve length from center back, in | 16.25 | 17.75 | 19.00 | 20.50 | 21.75 | 23.25 | 24.63 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
You're not a conspiracy theorist. You're just a person with questions — and a very specific, very personal reason to keep an open mind. If your nights have been a little... eventful lately, this design gets you on a level most people never will. This bold black-and-white graphic features a classic flying saucer beaming down its tractor light onto a wide-eyed guy getting lifted off the ground — with a very telling arrow pointing right at his backside. The text says it all: "NOT SAYING I BELIEVE IN UFO'S BUT MY ASS SURE HURTS." It's the perfect combination of deadpan denial and deeply suspicious physical evidence. The retro comic-style illustration gives it a vintage feel while the message hits like breaking news from your own personal X-File. Why people love it: Plausible Deniability: The joke walks the line between believer and skeptic with surgical precision — nobody can prove anything. Retro Comic Style: The vintage cartoon illustration gives this a classic, timeless look that punches up the humor even harder. Conversation Starter: Put this on display anywhere and watch strangers either laugh out loud or start nervously looking at the sky. Alien Encounter Energy: For anyone who has ever woken up with questions they couldn't explain and a dignity they couldn't recover. Unapologetic Absurdity: This doesn't try to be subtle — it commits fully to the bit and that's exactly why it works. Perfect for: UFO believers and skeptics alike • conspiracy theory humor fans • late-night stargazers • anyone who has "no memory" of last Tuesday - The truth is out there. Your butt just found it first.
The fabric: Comfort Colors 1717 — 100% ring-spun cotton, garment-dyed for a soft, lived-in feel that gets better with every wash. Relaxed unisex fit. Available in sizes S–4XL.