"Technically Wealthy" Unisex Garment-Dyed Tee
Black / S
$30.99
Sale price
$30.99
Regular price
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You were rich for a second. In your heart. On a spreadsheet. In a dream. This shirt is for everyone who watched their net worth hit a glorious peak — and then immediately watched it evaporate before they could even screenshot it.The design features bold, weathered vintage-style typography declaring "TECHNICALLY WEALTHY (On Paper, Briefly)" — a monument to the fleeting moment when your stocks, crypto, home equity, or side hustle valuation made you feel like a genius. It's the perfect blend of financial trauma and self-aware humor, because if you can't laugh at your portfolio, what else do you have?Why customers love it:Captures the universal experience of paper wealth that vanished faster than your motivation to check your brokerage appThe distressed, vintage font treatment makes heartbreaking financial reality look undeniably coolInstantly relatable to anyone who has ever said "I'm not selling, I'm just waiting" with zero convictionStarts conversations — and maybe some group therapy — wherever you wear itSpeaks fluent crypto bro, reluctant investor, and accidental landlord all at oncePerfect for: Watching your portfolio in real time • Explaining your "investment strategy" at Thanksgiving • Crypto meetups • Anyone whose NFT is now worth a sandwichThe market can take your money, but it can't take this shirt. Probably. Don't check the price.
"Technically Wealthy" Unisex Garment-Dyed Tee
$30.99
Sale price
$30.99
Regular price
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 18.25 | 20.25 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 27.75 | 29.75 |
| Length, in | 26.62 | 28.00 | 29.37 | 30.75 | 31.62 | 32.50 | 33.50 |
| Sleeve length from center back, in | 16.25 | 17.75 | 19.00 | 20.50 | 21.75 | 23.25 | 24.63 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
The fabric: Comfort Colors 1717 — 100% ring-spun cotton, garment-dyed for a soft, lived-in feel that gets better with every wash. Relaxed unisex fit. Available in sizes S–4XL.