"Expert In Things That Don't Matter" Unisex Garment-Dyed Tee
Black / S
$30.99
Sale price
$30.99
Regular price
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You know the name of every Seinfeld episode, can explain the entire plot of Dune from memory, and could win any trivia night — as long as it's never about anything useful. You've accepted your gift. Now wear it with pride.This beautifully detailed embroidery-style graphic is a masterpiece of irony. Styled like a fancy hoop-art sampler — the kind your grandma would hang on the wall — it reads "Expert In Things That Don't Matter" surrounded by globes, keys, feathers, books, compasses, constellations, and a cheerful little stick figure with a magnifying glass. It looks distinguished. It is distinguished. It just won't help you pay your bills, fix your car, or remember anyone's birthday.Why customers love it:The embroidery-hoop design is visually stunning — people stop and actually look at it before they get the jokeThe message lands perfectly for anyone who's a walking encyclopedia of absolutely useless knowledgeIt's self-aware humor at its finest — confident enough to own the quirk, clever enough to make it artGreat conversation starter that instantly finds your people — trivia nerds, deep-dive hobbyists, and chronic overthinkersThe vintage sampler aesthetic gives it a sophistication that makes the punchline hit even harderPerfect for: trivia nights • binge-watchers and deep-dive rabbit hole enthusiasts • gift for the friend who knows everything except what matters • anyone who aced the wrong subjects in lifeFinally, a credential you've actually earned.
"Expert In Things That Don't Matter" Unisex Garment-Dyed Tee
$30.99
Sale price
$30.99
Regular price
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 18.25 | 20.25 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 27.75 | 29.75 |
| Length, in | 26.62 | 28.00 | 29.37 | 30.75 | 31.62 | 32.50 | 33.50 |
| Sleeve length from center back, in | 16.25 | 17.75 | 19.00 | 20.50 | 21.75 | 23.25 | 24.63 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
The fabric: Comfort Colors 1717 — 100% ring-spun cotton, garment-dyed for a soft, lived-in feel that gets better with every wash. Relaxed unisex fit. Available in sizes S–4XL.