"Celestial Matchmaker" Unisex Garment-Dyed T-shirt

The "Celestial Matchmaker" Tee

Why just "hie" in the twinkling of an eye when you could make a weekend of it? This shirt is for the deep-doctrine lovers with a shallow-end sense of humor.

Taking the most hauntingly beautiful hymn in the book and giving it a modern, slightly-scandalous twist, the "If You Could Hie to Kolob (And Hook Up)" tee is the ultimate celestial flex.

Whether you're looking for love in the highest degree of glory or just want to see how many people at the local ice cream social do a double-take, this design is pure gold (plates not included). It's the perfect mix of "I know my obscure theology" and "I definitely swiped right."

Highlights of this Divine Design:

• Niche Humor: If they don't get the joke, they're probably not the one for you anyway.
• Musical Flair: Featuring a treble clef for those who can hear that minor key melody just by looking at it.
• Conversation Catalyst: Guaranteed to start discussions about astronomy, theology, and your questionable dating life.
• Soft & Sturdy: Durable enough to survive a trek across the plains or a really awkward first date at a soda shop.

Hie your way into someone's heart—or at least their DMs.