During testimony to a House committee this week, Secretary of State Marco Rubio said he had never seen President Trump fall asleep at a public event. This would be a fairly unremarkable statement, except that California Congressman Ted Lieu then played video — from a December cabinet meeting — showing Rubio praising the President's leadership while the President appeared to be, by any reasonable definition, asleep.
This was not an isolated incident, according to multiple reports. The President reportedly closed his eyes for extended periods and at one point slumped in his chair during a separate Oval Office appearance the same week. Lieu's response to Rubio's testimony was direct: he accused the Secretary of State of 'lying to Congress,' which is generally considered a bad thing to be accused of, especially while under oath, especially on video, especially when there is other video.
Meanwhile, the U.S. House voted to formally end the war in Iran — a largely symbolic move that doesn't carry the force of law but signals a real break between the GOP-controlled House and the administration. And a convicted January 6th rioter was hired at the Pentagon, in a role that handles classified military information, because of course he was.
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The Fake News Desk
LOCAL MAN INSISTS HE WASN'T ASLEEP DURING MOVIE, COULD NOT NAME A SINGLE CHARACTER
Tucson resident Brian Halloway, 36, maintained throughout the credits of Saturday's family movie night that he 'saw the whole thing' and was 'just resting his eyes during the loud parts,' despite being unable to name any of the film's characters, describe the plot, or confirm whether the dog survived.
'I caught the beginning and the end,' Halloway said. 'That's basically the whole movie. The middle is just, like, connective tissue.' When asked what happened in the middle, Halloway described 'a guy, doing stuff, and then probably a twist,' which his wife confirmed was 'not what happened, but an impressively confident guess.'
Halloway has requested the movie be 'put on the list' to rewatch, a list his wife says now contains eleven movies he has technically already seen.
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