The S&P 500 topped 7,300 for the first time in history this week, capping a six-week winning streak fueled almost entirely by AI and memory chip stocks. One fund tracking memory stocks was up nearly 30% in a single week. An investment chief described the moment as 'the internet on steroids,' and then, separately, also said we're 'still in the second or third inning,' which are both things people said in 1999, for the record.
All of this happened during the same week President Trump met with Chinese President Xi Jinping at a summit where AI guardrails and the ongoing Iran ceasefire were both on the agenda — because apparently the market is now treating an active geopolitical crisis as a scheduling conflict for a stock rally. Investors were reportedly hoping the Strait of Hormuz would reopen before the summit. It did not. The market went up anyway.
Also this week, Iranian political prisoner Narges Mohammadi was hospitalized after collapsing in custody, and far-right populist Nigel Farage's party made historic gains in U.K. local elections. Cool, normal week. Memory stocks are up 30% though, so.
Headline Thread
THIRD INNING
A direct quote from someone whose job is to be confident on television. Wear it the next time someone asks if you're 'in' on something.
Unsolicited Opinions
The Fake News Desk
LOCAL INVESTOR WHO 'CALLED' THE AI BOOM IN A GROUP CHAT THREE YEARS AGO STILL BRINGING IT UP
Scottsdale resident Greg Albanese, 44, has reportedly mentioned a 2023 group chat message — in which he wrote 'AI is gonna be huge, mark my words' — no fewer than nineteen times in the past six months, according to friends who asked not to be named 'for obvious reasons.'
The message, which has since become known among friends as 'The Prophecy,' was sent in a group chat primarily used to coordinate fantasy football and has been screenshotted, re-sent, and referenced at two birthday parties and one funeral.
'He didn't actually buy anything,' said one friend, speaking on condition of anonymity. 'He just... said it. And now it's like he invented electricity. We get it, Greg. You said a sentence. A lot of people said that sentence.'
Albanese was unavailable for comment, as he was reportedly 'in the middle of explaining blockchain to someone at a barbecue.'
