Attitude Adjustment Newsletter Archive

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The Newsletter Archive

Late-night monologue energy meets current events meets shirts you'll actually wear. Every week: one lead story, three shirt drops, one Onion-style parody, one discount code. Unsubscribe if you want. The news will still be like this.

All Issues
13
July 7, 2026  ·  Issue No. 13
America Turned 250, the Supreme Court Gave Trump More Power, and It Was 112 Degrees in Phoenix
Happy birthday, America. A time capsule was buried. A speech was given at Mount Rushmore. The Fed remains independent. The grid does not.
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12
June 30, 2026  ·  Issue No. 12
The Supreme Court Had a Week, Venezuela Had Two Earthquakes, and a Senator Discussed a Ruling He Hadn't Read
Five major rulings in four days. Twin earthquakes. Tulsi Gabbard and a cult. A Senator made four TV appearances about a document he was "very engaged with" but had not opened.
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11
June 23, 2026  ·  Issue No. 11
America's AI Data Centers Are Drinking All the Water and Using All the Power and It's Fine, Apparently
By 2030, AI data centers will consume electricity for 650 million people and water for 1.3 billion. The data is booming. The aquifer is not.
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10
June 16, 2026  ·  Issue No. 10
SpaceX IPO'd at $1.77 Trillion, Making Musk the World's First Trillionaire, the Same Week the Knicks Won the NBA Title
One trillion dollars. The first Knicks title since 1973. The ceasefire in its fifteenth week. Someone got booed at MSG and called the crowd "very enthusiastic."
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09
June 9, 2026  ·  Issue No. 9
Rubio Told Congress He'd Never Seen the President Fall Asleep. Then a Congressman Played the Tape.
The tape existed. The tape was in the room. The tape was played. We've never seen that.
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08
June 2, 2026  ·  Issue No. 8
The President Threatened to "Blow Up" Oman, a Country That Was Just Hosting the Peace Talks
Oman provided the venue, the bottled water, and the good chairs. And now, apparently, a target. Nice venue. Terrible guests.
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07
May 26, 2026  ·  Issue No. 7
New Disclosures Show the President Made Up to $750 Million in Stock Trades, Including Nvidia, Right Before a Big Nvidia Decision
The trades were managed entirely by third parties. The third parties had excellent timing. We are not saying anything. We are just saying.
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06
May 19, 2026  ·  Issue No. 6
The S&P Hit an All-Time High and Someone on Television Said We're Still in the "Second or Third Inning"
AI stocks up 30% in a week. Memory chips having a moment. One fund manager told television we are still early. We have heard this before.
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05
May 12, 2026  ·  Issue No. 5
The Jobs Report Came In Strong and Everyone Agreed That Everything Is Fine
The macro numbers say the economy is thriving. The news says everything is on fire. Both things are apparently true, simultaneously, forever.
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04
May 5, 2026  ·  Issue No. 4
Tim Cook Is Out at Apple and the Transition Was Somehow the Calmest Thing to Happen This Week
The world's most valuable company changed CEOs like it was a calendar update. Meanwhile, Live Nation lost an antitrust case. The convenience fee may not survive.
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03
April 28, 2026  ·  Issue No. 3
A Top Official Floated Replacing Iran With Italy at the World Cup, Which Is a Real Sentence
Italy hasn't qualified since 2014. Iran is at war with the host country. Diplomacy found a creative solution. Forza Nobody.
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02
April 21, 2026  ·  Issue No. 2
The President Called the Pope "Weak on Crime," Then Posted an AI Image of Himself as Jesus
One Sunday. Two theological incidents. Unlimited shirt potential. The ceasefire entered its second week. The war was supposed to last two weeks.
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01
April 14, 2026  ·  Issue No. 1
America and Iran Agreed to Stop Fighting for Two Weeks, Which Is a Sentence That Exists Now
A 40-day war. A 104-minute deadline. A ceasefire described by its own architects as "fragile." We had questions. We made shirts about it.
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