{"product_id":"fueled-by-coffee-and-spite-canvas-tote","title":"Fueled by Coffee (And Spite) | Canvas Tote","description":"For those exceptional individuals who run exclusively on premium roasted caffeine molecules and a healthy, daily dose of sheer, unadulterated spite. This high-potency graphic tee is a loud public service announcement that you are completely non-functional, legally volatile, and hazardous to approach until that second (or seventh) cup officially hits your bloodstream. Consider this your official warning label for morning interactions.\n\nWhy customers love it:\n* Brilliant, dark corporate survival humor that targets early morning interactions\n* Bold typographic styling that instantly scares away clipboard holders\n* Ultra-premium cotton weave designed to maximize comfort during office dread\n* The definitive gift for introverts, software engineers, and customer service survivors\n\nPerfect for: Anti-morning coalitions • Spite-driven productivity • Coffee house culture • Sarcastic workplace attire\n\nBecause early morning optimism is fake, but spite-driven productivity gets things done.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" × 14\"","offer_id":51822401683752,"sku":"33821019329990734144","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0985\/5248\/0040\/files\/1366155513961639482_2048.jpg?v=1779646245","url":"https:\/\/www.attitudeshirts.com\/products\/fueled-by-coffee-and-spite-canvas-tote","provider":"Attitude Shirts","version":"1.0","type":"link"}