{"product_id":"expert-in-things-that-dont-matter-unisex-garment-dyed-tee","title":"\"Expert In Things That Don't Matter\" Unisex Garment-Dyed Tee","description":"\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width:360px;\"\u003e\n            \u003cthead\u003e\n                \u003ctr\u003e\n                    \u003cth style=\"padding:10px;\"\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n                    \u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n                \u003c\/tr\u003e\n            \u003c\/thead\u003e\n            \u003ctbody\u003e\n                \n                    \u003ctr\u003e\n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            Width, in\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            18.25 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            20.25 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            22.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            24.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            26.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            27.75 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            29.75 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                    \u003c\/tr\u003e\n               \n                    \u003ctr\u003e\n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            Length, in\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            26.62 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            28.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            29.37 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            30.75 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            31.62 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            32.50 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            33.50 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                    \u003c\/tr\u003e\n               \n                    \u003ctr\u003e\n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            Sleeve length from center back, in\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            16.25 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            17.75 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            19.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            20.50 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            21.75 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            23.25 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            24.63 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                    \u003c\/tr\u003e\n               \n                    \u003ctr\u003e\n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            Size tolerance, in\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            1.50 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            1.50 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            1.50 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            1.50 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            1.50 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            1.50 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            1.50 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                    \u003c\/tr\u003e\n               \n            \u003c\/tbody\u003e\n        \u003c\/table\u003e\n        You know the name of every Seinfeld episode, can explain the entire plot of Dune from memory, and could win any trivia night — as long as it's never about anything useful. You've accepted your gift. Now wear it with pride.This beautifully detailed embroidery-style graphic is a masterpiece of irony. Styled like a fancy hoop-art sampler — the kind your grandma would hang on the wall — it reads \"Expert In Things That Don't Matter\" surrounded by globes, keys, feathers, books, compasses, constellations, and a cheerful little stick figure with a magnifying glass. It looks distinguished. It is distinguished. It just won't help you pay your bills, fix your car, or remember anyone's birthday.Why customers love it:The embroidery-hoop design is visually stunning — people stop and actually look at it before they get the jokeThe message lands perfectly for anyone who's a walking encyclopedia of absolutely useless knowledgeIt's self-aware humor at its finest — confident enough to own the quirk, clever enough to make it artGreat conversation starter that instantly finds your people — trivia nerds, deep-dive hobbyists, and chronic overthinkersThe vintage sampler aesthetic gives it a sophistication that makes the punchline hit even harderPerfect for: trivia nights • binge-watchers and deep-dive rabbit hole enthusiasts • gift for the friend who knows everything except what matters • anyone who aced the wrong subjects in lifeFinally, a credential you've actually earned.\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe fabric:\u003c\/strong\u003e Comfort Colors 1717 — 100% ring-spun cotton, garment-dyed for a soft, lived-in feel that gets better with every wash. Relaxed unisex fit. Available in sizes S–4XL.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":52051193200936,"sku":"32299734436636534759","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":52051193233704,"sku":"12507310527762635381","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ S","offer_id":52051193266472,"sku":"98712926326010554079","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":52051193299240,"sku":"89382361566374978512","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Lagoon Blue \/ S","offer_id":52051193332008,"sku":"40962346090826832430","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ S","offer_id":52051193364776,"sku":"18098092277792267680","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ S","offer_id":52051193397544,"sku":"18480331635076928905","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Crimson \/ S","offer_id":52051193430312,"sku":"20746116255293806257","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Denim \/ S","offer_id":52051193463080,"sku":"24382104183454858815","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite \/ S","offer_id":52051193495848,"sku":"42966306046591345618","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ S","offer_id":52051193528616,"sku":"21164432857612251150","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mustard \/ S","offer_id":52051193561384,"sku":"16820962958284824357","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Terracotta \/ S","offer_id":52051193594152,"sku":"29088832614137600031","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":52051193626920,"sku":"28272557669100716368","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":52051193659688,"sku":"16573964727037104235","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ M","offer_id":52051193692456,"sku":"10079297656815843375","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":52051193725224,"sku":"91844847758037789508","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Lagoon Blue \/ M","offer_id":52051193757992,"sku":"96682642510327750129","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ M","offer_id":52051193790760,"sku":"31275281806586435258","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ M","offer_id":52051193823528,"sku":"20687826926693470902","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Crimson \/ M","offer_id":52051193856296,"sku":"21328066255983304504","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Denim \/ M","offer_id":52051193889064,"sku":"30167649976975143045","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite \/ M","offer_id":52051193921832,"sku":"31573900232636359350","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ M","offer_id":52051193954600,"sku":"29806488061234701230","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mustard \/ M","offer_id":52051193987368,"sku":"14406720204155744466","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Terracotta \/ M","offer_id":52051194020136,"sku":"26719756530758562925","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":52051194052904,"sku":"30223479070744720379","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":52051194085672,"sku":"14400543282292414276","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ L","offer_id":52051194118440,"sku":"33324987001415345746","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":52051194151208,"sku":"53659168908051309364","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Lagoon Blue \/ L","offer_id":52051194183976,"sku":"10325024430020855882","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ L","offer_id":52051194216744,"sku":"21907457777214436789","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ L","offer_id":52051194249512,"sku":"14703872356177979030","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Crimson \/ L","offer_id":52051194282280,"sku":"19123518940096233603","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Denim \/ L","offer_id":52051194315048,"sku":"97872544276737775396","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite \/ L","offer_id":52051194347816,"sku":"23982199292218772198","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ L","offer_id":52051194380584,"sku":"27343965084117029234","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mustard \/ L","offer_id":52051194413352,"sku":"82081998267874821635","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Terracotta \/ L","offer_id":52051194446120,"sku":"33817217161684361498","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":52051194478888,"sku":"24592948843998831991","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":52051194511656,"sku":"71285486092801989770","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ XL","offer_id":52051194544424,"sku":"84187528119537534720","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":52051194577192,"sku":"27874409623576754951","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Lagoon Blue \/ XL","offer_id":52051194609960,"sku":"26978739278189271572","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ XL","offer_id":52051194642728,"sku":"24884203366622910273","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ XL","offer_id":52051194675496,"sku":"33230223525805263257","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Crimson \/ XL","offer_id":52051194708264,"sku":"28091934911892145240","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Denim \/ XL","offer_id":52051194741032,"sku":"33052728627553780852","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite \/ XL","offer_id":52051194773800,"sku":"27032139386049955322","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ XL","offer_id":52051194806568,"sku":"90487018865460838046","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mustard \/ XL","offer_id":52051194839336,"sku":"15705764561988534181","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Terracotta \/ XL","offer_id":52051194872104,"sku":"92653598618838623277","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":52051194904872,"sku":"14380822072630659861","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":52051194937640,"sku":"29946469270336693008","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ 2XL","offer_id":52051194970408,"sku":"23125825794247712283","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":52051195003176,"sku":"11443449970370413897","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Island Reef \/ 2XL","offer_id":52051195035944,"sku":"58187899629558494592","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ 2XL","offer_id":52051195068712,"sku":"13400516443125331287","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ 2XL","offer_id":52051195101480,"sku":"12469978383673581620","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Crimson \/ 2XL","offer_id":52051195134248,"sku":"26365686168150750012","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Denim \/ 2XL","offer_id":52051195167016,"sku":"16412276079554176719","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite \/ 2XL","offer_id":52051195199784,"sku":"16269647942859503697","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 2XL","offer_id":52051195232552,"sku":"24327462437274302916","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mustard \/ 2XL","offer_id":52051195265320,"sku":"32343912237009549751","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Terracotta \/ 2XL","offer_id":52051195298088,"sku":"23566658359123021574","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":52051195330856,"sku":"28310649300157017905","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ 3XL","offer_id":52051195363624,"sku":"29713924520937639356","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ 3XL","offer_id":52051195396392,"sku":"28198143782955681933","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Crimson \/ 3XL","offer_id":52051195429160,"sku":"25226836295437724138","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Denim \/ 3XL","offer_id":52051195461928,"sku":"15094580416901200186","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite \/ 3XL","offer_id":52051195494696,"sku":"30436279452381707429","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Island Reef \/ 3XL","offer_id":52051195527464,"sku":"21557093570700444199","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 3XL","offer_id":52051195560232,"sku":"19457386268494711714","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mustard \/ 3XL","offer_id":52051195593000,"sku":"16816718538229610089","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":52051195625768,"sku":"42302702591491209751","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ 3XL","offer_id":52051195658536,"sku":"12075614254501624124","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Terracotta \/ 3XL","offer_id":52051195691304,"sku":"20690791663519242355","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":52051195724072,"sku":"12779689682090866530","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":52051195756840,"sku":"11779036587225883177","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ 4XL","offer_id":52051195789608,"sku":"12630165197014433833","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ 4XL","offer_id":52051195822376,"sku":"18608515973938236113","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Crimson \/ 4XL","offer_id":52051195855144,"sku":"90496973992938468631","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Denim \/ 4XL","offer_id":52051195887912,"sku":"96120571677757032832","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite \/ 4XL","offer_id":52051195920680,"sku":"27022567051276340945","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Island Reef \/ 4XL","offer_id":52051195953448,"sku":"32674991177985752103","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 4XL","offer_id":52051195986216,"sku":"27329389002117133539","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mustard \/ 4XL","offer_id":52051196018984,"sku":"33940126330390946679","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":52051196051752,"sku":"77699509952418079707","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ 4XL","offer_id":52051196084520,"sku":"17336870836854739778","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Terracotta \/ 4XL","offer_id":52051196117288,"sku":"18400220494635819719","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":52051196150056,"sku":"12894203221545979725","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0985\/5248\/0040\/files\/8103981896284917911_2048.jpg?v=1783100387","url":"https:\/\/www.attitudeshirts.com\/products\/expert-in-things-that-dont-matter-unisex-garment-dyed-tee","provider":"Attitude Shirts","version":"1.0","type":"link"}