{"product_id":"escorts-sticker-main","title":"\"Escorts\" Sticker — Main","description":"Some guys do the math and realize the traditional route comes with a mortgage, a minivan, and a lifetime of 'we need to talk.' This design is for the man who prefers his arrangements transparent, his exits clean, and his accountant unbothered. Bold, blunt, and completely unapologetic — just the way you like it.\nThe design hits hard with the word ESCORTS blazing across the top in commanding serif type, followed by the knockout tagline: Cheaper Than a Wife and You Get Some. It's the kind of financial logic they don't teach in business school but absolutely should. Dark humor, zero filter, maximum personality — this is a statement piece in every sense of the phrase.\n\nWhy people love it:\n\n\nZero Subtlety: This design walks into the room first and introduces itself — no one misses the message.\n\nBachelor Wisdom: It weaponizes the logic of a man who has done the cost-benefit analysis and come out ahead.\n\nSerif Power: The bold, classical typeface gives the joke a deadpan gravitas that makes it hit even harder.\n\nConversation Starter: Expect stares, double-takes, and at least three strangers buying you a drink.\n\nUnapologetic Energy: Built for the guy who stopped caring what anyone thinks approximately one divorce ago.\n\n\nPerfect for: bachelor parties • divorce parties • guy's night out • anyone who appreciates brutally honest math Because nothing says 'I've run the numbers' quite like putting it on display for the whole world to see.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"2\" × 2\" \/ White","offer_id":52205945061672,"sku":"29538685160862569158","price":3.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":52205945094440,"sku":"32731597502014894222","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":52205945127208,"sku":"60601103888071061222","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6\" × 6\" \/ White","offer_id":52205945159976,"sku":"19054026571494909529","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0985\/5248\/0040\/files\/13225580830790657457_1200.jpg?v=1786134142","url":"https:\/\/www.attitudeshirts.com\/products\/escorts-sticker-main","provider":"Attitude Shirts","version":"1.0","type":"link"}